I felt really lost for a long time – as I’m sure many of you have. I went about the daily routine of my life, and stumbled into the line of questioning, “Is this is it? We work our whole lives to save up money for retirement, to enjoy the last years of our life in comfort?” I felt called to discover my bigger purpose, but I didn’t really know how.
I started out by googling, “how do you find your purpose?”
Needless to say, I found myself in a rabbit hole of self help websites and ted talks – but I wanted something more personal.
Somewhere in my search, I found the concept of ikigai(pronounced “eye-ka-guy”), the Japanese concept that loosely translates to “reason for being.” It is explained as the balance found at the intersection where your passions and talents converge with the things that the world needs and is willing to pay for. Ikigai is about finding joy, fulfillment, and balance in the daily routine of life(see image below).
With this concept in mind, I went back to something my dad has always told me – Knowing what you don’t want to do is an important step to finding your dream job. Building a compass where true north points towards the job or career you want. If you work at a job pointing south, you’ll have a better idea where North is and appreciate it more when you get there.
So, I said yes a lot. I worked music festivals, tutored SDSU students in calculus, made websites for artists, babysat, built products for a startup, served as a leader on software teams, did some marketing consulting, founded a growth marketing agency. I read hundreds of books on personal development, investing, memoirs. I served on seven executive boards for various professional organizations on campus(at the same time I was taking seventeen units & working two jobs). I helped plan music festivals, career fairs, art shows, SDSU Homecoming events – I couldn’t walk five minutes on campus without running into someone I knew.
At the end of 2017, I was exhausted, stretched far past my healthy limits of involvement. I received a couple pieces of advice that I think will particularly resonated with me. One of my mentors told me, “Paige, you’re a mile wide, and an inch deep. Everyone knows you’re doing something but they never know what.” And one of my voracious-reader friends Ryan Cohen told me: “Make a list of the top ten things you want to do…and then cross everything out but the top two.”
I had always wanted to study with Bernie Schroeder, the director of the Lavin Entrepreneurship Program and a formidable marketer who had helped guide brands like Amazon, Apple, Mercedes-Benz, and Nike to continued success – so I took a risk.
I bought a non-refundable ticket to Rome the morning before my linear algebra midterm in October 2017 and introduced myself to him at his informational session later in October for his winter course “Entrepreneurship in Rome.” He laughed when I said I was going on the trip as the applications hadn’t opened yet, but then his eyes widened when I told him I’d already bought my plane ticket.
I ended up spending what, at the time, was my life savings on this three-week course in Rome with Bernie – and it was worth every penny. I was a sponge, soaking up all the information we learned about marketing & the internal dynamics of businesses. I loved hearing about how to strategically manage brands and navigate leveraged situations in business. I reaffirmed my belief that taking risks is good. (I wrote about my experience here and here). At the end of the trip, Bernie encouraged me to apply for the NASDAQ-awarded Lavin Entrepreneurship Program at SDSU.
Over the next two years, I dove deep into what makes me happy & feeds me – financially, mentally, and spiritually. I joined the Lavin Entrepreneurship Program, joined the board of SDSU’s Entrepreneur Society, competed in SDSU’s Venture Capital Investment Competition, and landed my dream internship at TVC Capital, a San Diego growth equity firm focused on b2b software. Then in the summer of 2019, a hair after my 21st birthday, I had a particularly clarifying & life-changing experience.
My dear friend Ryan Allis invited me to the Hive Global Leaders Retreat in Scotts Valley, California – the theme was Designing Your Purpose. Originally, I hadn’t planned on going – it was during my resident assistant job training & travel was a bit expensive for my student budget. But in the last two weeks leading up to the event, I felt particularly called to go.
What happened next was really the stuff of miracles. I called my RA lead one day at work, explained the situation, and he said I would not be able to be an RA (which provided me with free housing) if I missed the training. I respectfully told him that I needed more flexibility during my senior year, and we amicably parted ways.
When I walked back into work (TVC Capital) after that discussion, our partner called me into his office to offer me a fall internship position continuing the work I loved. That afternoon, my roommates from the past year texted in our group chat about needing an extra roommate for their apartment in Pacific Beach that fall. I felt like the universe was rewarding me for prioritizing myself & it made making leaps of faith much easier.
I then reached out to the Lavin Entrepreneurship Center at SDSU, where I am a program fellow – explained my situation and the importance of the Hive Global Leaders Summit , and asked for funding to cover my flights and lodging. They replied back within a day – yes.
I knew because of the way I was guided to this event that it was going to be really special – but I had no idea what I was in for. I spent the weekend after my 21st birthday surrounded by successful entrepreneurs, artists, investors, and leaders all working towards clarifying their purpose & authentically relating to others.
One of the most profound exercises I participated in at Hive was the Designing Your Life workshop which I shared with you below. It’s based primarily on the ikigai concept & contains actionable questions to help shape you sense of purpose.
Really take your time to go through these questions – heat some tea, light a candle, clear some physical and mental space for yourself as you dive into them. I’d recommend doing this exercise with a peer you trust (ie is able to give both supportive and critical feedback), where you each reflect on the question one by one, then have a discussion about your reflection.
- What do I really love doing?
- When am I most “in flow”? What excites me? What makes me come alive? When am I the happiest?
- What am I good at?
- What could my friends, family, coworkers say I’m good at? What could I become great at? How am I good at helping others? What do I do well that other people get paid to do?
- What does the world need?
- What do humanity and the world need to thrive? What systems need to change or be created? What technologies or approaches are needed? What problems and opportunities are needed? What problems and opportunities do I see? How do I want to be of service?
- How can I get paid to do what I love?
- What could I do in life that would serve humanity in a big way, allow me to do what I love, and allow me to reach my financial goals?
- What would I do if I were unreasonable?
- What would I do with my life if I were actually doing exactly what I wanted to do, were completely unreasonable about it, and stopped coming up with reasons and excuses for why I can’t truly live into my full potential now?
- What’s holding me back?
- What or who is holding me back from doing exactly what I want to do and making a huge positive impact in my community and world now? Why can’t I truly live into my full potential?
- What might be my purpose for the next phase of my life?
- What is so compelling to me that I might be willing to dedicate the next few years of my life to making it happen? In other words, what might be my “purpose” or “calling” right now? In other words, why am I alive?
- How can I rewrite my purpose so a ten-year-old would understand?
- How could I simplify my purpose statement? Get rid of all the complicated language and use fewer than 15 words. This will be a version of my “purpose” that anyone can understand. Create a few possibilities.
- Draw Your Purpose Statement
- What
- Where
- Who
- How could I make this happen?
- What can I do during my lifetime to realize my vision? Will I join an organization or start one myself? What might be the business model or funding source behind scaling my impact?
- What are some of my goals?
- What are my goals for my next ninety days, 1 year, 10 years, and lifetime? What do you really want? Think holistically, including areas of my life like health, travel, experienes, work, finances, family, relationships, habits, and impact.
- 90 days
- 1 year
- 10 years
- Lifetime
- What are my goals for my next ninety days, 1 year, 10 years, and lifetime? What do you really want? Think holistically, including areas of my life like health, travel, experienes, work, finances, family, relationships, habits, and impact.
After working through these questions, I think the one that stuck out to me the most was, “What would I do if I was unreasonable?”
All the time, I encounter people who say “Oh it doesn’t work like that,” or “I can’t do that because..” so my next post, Don’t Undersell Yourself is to dispel some myths about what you can and can’t do.
Also if you’re really into asking yourself more reflective questions, here are more resources that I’ve dug up in my search:
More Guiding Question Resources
This post is 1/(?) of a longer series I’m working on – the nontraditional college-to-career path.