Earlier today, I had the pleasure to attend a talk given by ISHE, an artist, speaker, facilitator and author/illustrator of an award winning children’s book entitled “Sol the Super Hairo,” which is a story celebrating the glory of natural beauty for children.
Her presence itself was striking – with closely cropped hair, deep magenta lipstick, hammered gold earrings that caught light as she nodded to validate people’s thoughts and feelings, and a v-necked cornflower blue sweater that revealed glowing collarbones, she radiated love and acceptance. I couldn’t tell if her skin shone with moisturizer or an inner light – I’m assuming it was a little of both.
She shared a beautiful piece entitled “Intimacy” that reimagined the perspective I have of intimacy. She acknowledged our assumption that intimacy is something we share with others, then went on to discuss looking in the mirror and repeated, “Into me, I see,” which sounds strikingly like “intimacy”. Many of us struggle with issues of self-worth; I think the hardest transition is that of realizing that self-worth is an internal validation and should not be influenced by others feelings (or lack thereof). I connected this to one of rap’s greatest, Cardi B, who sang You got me looking in the mirror different / Thinking I’m flawed / Because you inconsistent in her song Be Careful.
ISHE went on to say that we can’t start to have successful external intimacy with someone else before we have a successful intimate relationship with ourselves. She clarifies that intimacy is not exclusively sexual; rather, it concerns how accurately we see ourselves. I thought this was a really interesting way to verbalize “love yourself first.”
Her mother, Starla Lewis, was also in attendance (they often speak together on multi-generational women’s empowerment). She discussed different therapeutic exercises and urged us to broaden our views on what is considered “therapy.” After Starla was in a traumatic car accident, she turned to bibliotherapy – therapy through reading – to use other people’s stories, thoughts and feelings to help herself heal. Getting an outside opinion from someone else can be difficult, so turning to books is a great way to have a conversation between yourself and a character, an ideal, or situation.
Overall, this exercise was refreshing, a nice break from the relatively unemotional(except for those 11:59 submitting program moments) computer science curriculum. It was a reminder to exercise more conscientious monitoring and strengthening of my sense of self-worth.
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